February – was a month of mixed emotions. I went down to HQ for the last time to drop off all the stuff (and see my best friend, little did I know for the last time in 2020). The drive back was 7 hours of personal revelations.  I felt like a huge weight had been lifted, I never had to go back to that place. I had no anxiety and felt quite happy, in fact the further away from HQ I got the bigger the smile on my face was. Without realising it I had been living for the last 11 years with this constant stress and anxiety, and only once it had gone did it make me realise just how much staying in that job had affected my mental and physical health. By the time I got home, I felt free.

This was my first big revelation of this year. How much of our lives do we box things up and pretend they are not affecting us, when what we should be doing is really listening, doing some self reflection and taking action to right what is wrong in our lives, and sometimes what we need to do is terrifying. 

I’ve known for years I wanted out of that job (not because of the job itself, my volunteers are amazing, and I was good at the job, but because of the incompetent and crippling management and internal politics, I wasn’t one for ass kissing and unfortunately that’s the reason I was made redundant) but I stayed because of the fear. How would I pay my mortgage? What would I do without my company car? How could I afford to live?

How many of my friends were living lives that did not excite them, that they were “stuck in”, as I looked around all I saw was beaten down people working to pay their next bill. They were in the rat race and so had I been. Not anymore! Feb 15^th came round, and my company car was returned, and I was officially unemployed.

But not really – you see I had been focussing all my energy on my business, and my diary was full! I had worked out what I needed to earn to live comfortably and was smashing it. I’d pushed myself outside of my comfort zone, gone to networking meetings, done more massage courses to upskill myself, met some amazing people who I now consider friends, and filled my diary. At the same time a very good friend had sat me down and had a very honest and slightly brutal conversation with me about my weight. So, we made a plan

March – My dairy was 4 weeks fully booked; photoshoot booked in with a professional photographer, some swaps booked in with other therapists for social media content, I was getting my business up and running and it was going well, but in the background, there was rumblings of a virus making its way over to UK shores from China. Corona virus was here. 6 weeks after officially going full time with my business I had to close my doors. That had been the second biggest kick in the gut this year.

April/May/June – I spent the first few weeks not doing very much, did a few odd jobs around the house, did a lot of Yoga in the garden, got practicing my Poi, read several books, walked, gardened, and generally kept myself busy. I did not want to waste the time, so I started creating content for a new website, originally, I had planned to build it myself but honestly, I did not have a clue. So, I reached out to a local networking group and got in touch with a lady who rebuilt my website for me. What do you think?



I had also got my nutrition up and running, started walking and was getting back in touch with taking care of my body, good nutrition, plenty of water, regular work outs, long walks, and yoga, I was feeling good. I could not have done it without support and I absolutely smashed being locked in. I missed my family, and it did get lonely at times but there were several things I learned about myself during that lockdown.

Not only had the first 6 months of 2020 been an unbelievable rollercoaster but I learnt so much about myself and what I could achieve. The other thing which really struck home was just how much I rely on friends and family.

Much of the second half of the year was me working flat out to get some money in the bank, building my business from the ground up not once but twice (and will be for a third time in 2021). I started a new business selling pamper boxes ( if you haven't already then please follow us on Facebook and Instagram @theholisticpamperco ), continued reading my way through a library of books on development and massage, got myself qualified as a health and wellness consultant. These lockdowns whilst they have been brutal to my finances (yes, I am one of the Excluded UK) they have been great for personal development and resetting my priorities. The overriding thing this year has taught me is that I want to work to live not live to work. I want to enjoy my life, I want to actually experience adventure regularly, without the guilt I used to feel about spending money on experiences.

Life is far too short to not enjoy every single moment, and whilst sometimes life kicks us in the gut and its ok to breakdown and wallow, don’t stay there, get up, brush yourself off and hustle because life should be an adventure and you can’t appreciate the good without the bad to compare it to.

Stay Safe and healthy, drink plenty of water and hustle because your goals are worth it!